TW: Rant: Friday 19th July: Remembering Dora and Jasmine

I used to be a regular activist: a familiar face at protests of every kind, from environmentalism, to nuclear power, to feminist struggles and free education. I could have papered my whole flat in flyers and posters and protest literature. After a while, I burnt out and got sick and tired of never seeming to make a difference, no matter how many people chained themselves to whatever, no matter how many miles walked in whatever weather or how many... Read More

An Erotic Education

  I mentioned during my talk at White Rabbit (the picture below is the lovely WR Boutique) last week that there’s no “school for sex workers” – no diploma program where you learn all the things you need to know for this industry: business skills, sexual health, counselling skills, let alone anything involving your kegels. But it’s equally true that there’s nowhere to go and learn to be a good client- and worst of all, it’s difficult... Read More

Threesomes: Playing with Couples: part 1

I am a very, very lucky person, not just for sex work, but in any work; sometimes I am paid to do things I love doing for free. I’d like to discuss one of those things today: sex with couples. Of course, more usually, the threesomes I am involved in at work involve another professional- this is also often awesome, but different, and I’ll blog about it separately soon. Managing the expectations of two people is more difficult, so I usually... Read More

What’s in a name? Musings on the nature of my work…

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet…                                                   ( Act II, Scene II, Romeo & Juliet) I’ve spent the last 4 days with the lovely Rebecca Lowrie on her Practitioner Training Course. I had been drawn to Rebecca and learning more about what she does for a while, so when she mentioned to me about a short... Read More

Accessibility post #1: Clients with disabilities

  I’d like to talk a little bit about working with clients with disabilities. I hope to be really honest about my capacities as well as my limitations, and I hope that you’ll appreciate my honesty in this. I recently saw this amazing film Scarlet Road about Rachel, a sex worker in Australia who does awesome work in her role with clients with disabilities. Rachel set up Touching Base, which refers clients to sex workers, as well as... Read More

5 ways to be my perfect client…

I started writing this as a list of things I *didn’t* like people to do, and realised it sounded rather negative and down-beat. I actually meet overwhelmingly nice people, most of whom already do all or most of these things. But perhaps if you’ve tried to approach me or another provider and been turned back, improving on one or more of these things might change your chances of a date with me or whoever you’d like to see in the future… I’ve... Read More

X:Meet Social Space for Sex Workers

Thank goodness; finally some more politics amongst the froth and bubble. Some of you may know, I spend some of the time available to me because of this job roughly engaged in pursuits under the heading of “making stuff better”. I’ve recently started doing a bit of stuff for the x:talk project who “make stuff better” by teaching English to migrant sex workers. You can read about them here: they can say everything about... Read More

The Fair Trade Sex Worker

A client once said to me “why do people care more about the rights of people who pick our coffee and cocoa beans than the rights of sex workers?”. This thought has stayed with me ever since, and I’ve asked the question many times on his behalf since, without any sensible answer. I think that most people would answer that fair trade sex workers aren’t trafficked, coerced or controlled for gain, but it seems to me there’s a LOT more to it... Read More