I started writing this as a list of things I *didn’t* like people to do, and realised it sounded rather negative and down-beat. I actually meet overwhelmingly nice people, most of whom already do all or most of these things. But perhaps if you’ve tried to approach me or another provider and been turned back, improving on one or more of these things might change your chances of a date with me or whoever you’d like to see in the future… I’ve included some links at the bottom for more general tips on being a good client, since the things I discuss here are things that please *me* in particular, may not be useful for another service provider, and of course are in addition to all the usual caveats about safer sex and hygiene… Take a look at the links if you’re in any doubt or need further guidance. 1. Respect my time. At least 20% of my twitter feed/IRL discussions with sex workers is complaints about timewasters. The scourge of our industry (although not *only* ours), people who are wasting my time come in many forms. The best way to respect my time is to: a) start with a…(Read More)

Thank goodness; finally some more politics amongst the froth and bubble. Some of you may know, I spend some of the time available to me because of this job roughly engaged in pursuits under the heading of “making stuff better”. I’ve recently started doing a bit of stuff for the x:talk project who “make stuff better” by teaching English to migrant sex workers. You can read about them here: they can say everything about what they do a heap better than I can. Anyway, the news is that they are setting up a social space for ALL sex workers called X:Meet. I’ve started to see social groups springing up, or actually being talked about: there’s a couple of more established things that cross over more with practitioner development/networking/politics etc, but not enough real HANGING OUT. Here’s the details about X:Meet. I’m happy for you to contact me by email/phone/twitter/saafe to chat about it if you fancy coming down. Or contact x:talk through their website/phone. ____________________________________________ X:Meet Sex Worker Social Space X:talk invite you to come along and just… hang out at X:meet. Just a roomful of people who know how it is to do whatever it is you do. We…(Read More)

NB: yet again, girl in the picture *not* me. And slightly more glamorous than the travel I’ve got planned… As many of you know, I get regular itchy feet phases (thankfully of the metaphorical variety… if you have *actual* itchy feet, please visit your doctor) and have decided to do some city-hopping in the next few weeks. I’m not going to mention the dreaded T-word (“tour”)… as one AW member put it, “I’m not a rockband” but then the university towns are hardly rock and roll, as delightful as they are. I’m so fond of Cambridge and Oxford, and I’m very much looking forward to visiting both again. I’m a vintage fan and feel deeply the need to visit the cornucopia of charity shops to be found in both cities and it’ll be cold enough to inspire visits to the tea-shops that also dot both lovely places. Delightful! Obviously, I’ll find a few minutes between cups of tea and trying on unsuitable hats to meet a few nice people. If you’d like to be one of the lucky few, do let me know. I’m going to be in Cambridge on the 21st and 22nd November, and plan to be in…(Read More)

I’m so sorry for the lack of a) new content here and b) my availability for the last couple of months! Truth is, I’ve been rushed off my feet with other things… some of which I shall tell you about in the fullness of time But I have exciting news! Some of you know I haven’t had a permanent base in London for a while now, so since I’m missing you and I think you’re missing me I’ve decided that I will do what will effectively be a tour in London! I haven’t quite decided whether to check-in on Monday or Tuesday next week yet, but suffice to say, there will be appointments available on Tuesday 1st November. I’ll be staying in lovely discreet serviced apartments in central London. Best of all, I shall have with me a lovely new friend! Her name is Evie, and she is rather new to this naughty world, so I hope you will all be nice to her! She is a delicious and sexy blonde, with peachy skin and a bottom almost as yummy as mine! As if she wasn’t perfect enough to look at, she is also a dear girl, with a lovely…(Read More)

Sorry, this isn’t politics or ranting, but I thought I’d write a quick note to let you know I’ll be visiting Cambridge from around lunchtime on Friday 5th August, and staying until Sunday 7th August. I’m taking a lovely friend with me this time, in case there are any appetites in Cambridge I’m unable to sate on my own This is the lovely in question http://www.adultwork.com/KittyKisses Do email or call me asap if you’d like to make an appointment with me, or speak to either of us about an appointment with us both.       ^See image for gratuitous pun intended.    

A client once said to me “why do people care more about the rights of people who pick our coffee and cocoa beans than the rights of sex workers?”. This thought has stayed with me ever since, and I’ve asked the question many times on his behalf since, without any sensible answer. I think that most people would answer that fair trade sex workers aren’t trafficked, coerced or controlled for gain, but it seems to me there’s a LOT more to it than that. The question itself says to me several things. Firstly, that clients are vastly more important to the cause of sex workers rights than most people think. Many countries try to push campaigns to criminalise clients, along the Swedish model: this is totally wrong. There was a recent demonstration against this in Paris by the incredible sex workers’ union there: STRASS. Furry Girl writes extensively about including clients in the movement at feminisnt, and Steele makes a great argument that clients are essential in the fight to make sure that sex workers are working safely and in good conditions (it looks like her blog has been taken down, I’ll link to it when possible). Secondly, I wonder…(Read More)

I know it’s inevitable that every industry will have its own jargon, but I have a particular dislike for some of the coy and ever-so-slightly demeaning words and phrases used to describe my work. Let me introduce you to a few of my favourites: A Level. aka Anal Sex. Famously misunderstood early in the TV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl, when Belle replies to the enquiry with her exam results (Politics, French, English Literature, or somesuch). If you’d like to fuck me up the ass, say “Violet, do you do anal?” Thanks. Duo aka two escort booking (usually two female sex workers). ARGH- this just reminds me of thrush medication. Also, it is very unclear- are the sex workers just going to interact with the client/or just each other/or both? I’d prefer if clients said “I’d like to book you and a fe/male friend, and this is what I’d like to happen during the appointment…” OWO: Oral sex without protection, the evils of which are covered at length in this post Escort: I personally don’t even like this term, although that is what I am. I prefer courtesan, or politically, sex worker. I know other sex professionals who…(Read More)

Since this blog is partly to reach out and make contact with clients, I have definately made a blogging fail already: many clients will have mentally switched off or clicked away already- these are clients who seek OWO. Oral With Out (protection) is one of my personal buttons-you-press-for-a-rant, and that button has been sorely tested twice in the last 24 hours. I’ll tell you how, but first let me explain my position- it’s a carefully reasoned one, and because I’ve a lot to say, I’ll try to make it interesting. OWO is fundamentally risky. The risks of catching an STI are indeed lower than having unprotected vaginal/anal penetrative sex, but they are real. Read more here. I admit, we live in a risky world, but since I’m lucky enough to choose to do this work (sex workers who aren’t choosing their work almost certainly have more to worry about than OWO), happily I can choose not to engage with the risk of infecting myself with HIV at work. I visit a GUM Clinic specifically for sex workers, where the latest research regarding risks is available to my specialist nurse (the lovely Sarah at the Open Doors project, at  The Ivy…(Read More)